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Asking the question

How are things going with your partner? What is your relationship like?

I noticed you have a number of bruises/cuts, I am concerned about you, would you tell me about it?

You don’t seem yourself lately. I was wondering if maybe something isn’t right. Can we talk about it?

Further possible questions

  • Have you ever felt scared of anybody in your family?
  • Have they hurt you in some way? What did they say about it?
  • Have they ever thrown things or broken things? Do they get angry?
  • What happens when they get angry? What do you think they would be capable of doing?
  • Do they get jealous of you seeing friends, talking to other people or going out? If so what happens?
  • What would happen if you did something they didn’t like or you disagreed with them?
  • If you don’t want to do certain things, do you feel able to tell them?
  • Do you ever have sex because you feel you have to rather than because you want to?
  • Is this what you think it should be like?
  • What would you like to be different?
  • If you had a friend telling you this, what would you think? What would you say?
  • Thank you for sharing this with me you have done the right thing in telling me.
  • It has taken courage to share this and I am happy that you trusted me enough to talk to me.
  • This is not okay; you should not be treated like this.
  • What do you want to do?
  • How can I help?
  • What would make things better?

Information Sharing

  • I will support you as best I can, but I need the help of other agencies to keep you safe and so I am going to talk to......
  • This is what I am going to do in response to what you have told me...
  • We could call together if you would like that?
  • I could meet with you and if you want support in telling them...
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